The other day I was talking to a friend of mine who, after 40+ years of marriage, is now single! As part of her healing journey, she told me that she never felt like she had permission to be in a reciprocally loving relationship.
Not only was this a huge A-HA for her, but also led to a discussion about this idea of permission, how unconsciously we believe we can or cannot act in specific ways, do certain tasks, or take on designated roles.
Make sense?
This idea directly relates to limiting beliefs, which predictably originate from early life messages, that we then subsequently internalize. When we bump into the edges of one of these limitations, we have an opportunity to ask:
Is this belief or limitation still true for me?
If not, is it time to shift?
If so, what does shifting look & feel like?
And who is it exactly that I need to ask permission of?
most importantly, is it time to expand the definitions you have for yourself?
Here’s an example from my life.
I’ve always been an artsy person, enjoying coordinating my clothing, decorating my home, etc. but I never had a regular art practice.
In 2014, quite by accident, I ended up taking an intro to printmaking with an artist I knew. My daughter and I the only students! While exploring various techniques, we chatted, and one afternoon I was astonished to hear myself say, “I never felt like I had permission to be an artist.”
My eyes widened and I stared at my friend, shocked by my own confession. Afterall, I was in my 40s. Who was it that wasn’t giving me permission?
My admission set off an intense inquiry. As to be expected, it led to messaging I’d received as a young person. Pretty typical stuff like: you need a real job, to make good money, have security… All well intentioned and designed to keep me safe.
BUT there was another layer, too, namely how I interpreted and then lived those messages! In other words, how I went on to limit myself. Because even when I had the time, financial security, and support from my partner, I still felt like I couldn’t just do art. I wasn’t allowed…
Why?
Because somewhere I didn’t feel I had permission – permission to do what I most wanted- to focus on my creativity, rather than “helping people” or having a “real” job, whatever that means.
This idea of permission and giving ourselves permission is a massive game changer!
Now it’s your turn.
What is it that you’re ready to give yourself permission to do? To be? To have?
Close your eyes and allow yourself a moment to really feel into it.
Is it:
A loving relationship?
An exciting, fun job that you love AND that pays (and treats) you well?
To be wildly successful doing what inspires you?
To be vibrantly healthy?
To devote your life to gardening?
To travel to Morocco?
Think about that ONE thing that’s been gnawing at you. That idea or desire you push away because you won’t even let yourself think about it!
What if you now had complete permission to do it?
How would you feel? What action might you take?
Allow yourself to really dream. Unshackle yourself.
The world needs your creativity, your happiness, your authenticity right now!
Liked what you read?
Get more tools & inspiration for your personal transformation in your inbox every Wednesday!
Photo courtesy of eluela31 on Pixabay