I used to think that if I moved somewhere else, everything in my life would be better.
Have you fallen for that, too?
I did for decades, spending, on average, four years in any one location.
It wasn’t until I had a child that I even considered changing. One of my close friends said, “you can’t keep moving, it’s bad for the baby.”
Initially, I ignored her, rationalizing my actions by the fact that infants cling to primary support, not place. Her words, however, rang in my ears year in and year out, until I finally stopped running.
Because- 100% transparency- that’s what I was doing. Running away from me.
You see, I’d convinced myself that each new place was the answer to my unhappiness. It wasn’t that the dissatisfaction lay inside of me, absolutely not! It was the pollution, the traffic, the neighbors, the lack of opportunities…
God forbid I actually looked inside myself.
Instead, I exchanged traffic for trees, noisy neighbors for none, yet wherever I went, I brought my emotional baggage with me- my fear, scarcity, anxiety- because they were all part of my lived experience.
When I finally stopped long enough to look inside, I realized that happiness was there because I was there. It wasn’t in some other destination.
That’s the secret no one bothers to tell us. Happiness is an inside job.
Instead, we learn that happiness, value, love, or belonging all lie outside of ourselves.
I stopped and began the inner work of healing.
If you’re ready to release the idea that your next destination will solve all your woes and do some inner work, here are a few tips to get you started.
1. Look Within
Contrary to what you might believe, you actually have all the answers within you. It’s easy to forget or be afraid to ask.
Instead, get quiet, light a candle, put on some soothing music, and get back in touch with your heart. Go within and allow yourself to reconnect with you. Ask your heart for guidance.
Sometimes, we’re afraid to ask because it might mean we have to change – change the way we relate to ourselves and to others. But if we want to live authentically, this is the only path, through the heart.
Pray, sit quietly, journal or even try vlogging to get back in touch with you.
2. Seek Guidance
There are many people, books, and on-line courses that can help you unlock the mystery that lies within.
One of my favorite authors is Joseph Campbell. He writes extensively about mythology and linking it to the soul’s journey. His interview with Bill Moyers entitled, The Power of Myth is my personal favorite.
Another book, like Higher Purpose: How to Find More Inspiration, Meaning and Purpose in Your Life by Dr Robert Holden, can offer insight. He is a thoughtful, dynamic teacher who explains terms in simple ways.
Anything by the Buddhist nun, Pema Chodron will offer clarity and instruction as well.
The trick is to find an author whose words connect to your soul. A voice whose guidance and support speaks to you.
3. Find Your Tribe
A community of like-minded people/friends can make a huge difference, too. In the Hindu faith, this is called satsang, in the Buddhist, sangha. Both words are derived from Sanskrit. Sat refers to truth (satya) and sang means community or gathering.
The idea behind this is to find a group (it could even be one person) you connect to on a deeper level. Someone who is committed to being on the path and can offer you support (and vice versa).
A great place to look is your local yoga studio, church, temple or meditation group. Go online and check them out or visit in person.
Do you like the people?
Can you make a connection?
We all have resistance and fear of doing this inner work, but it truly is the reason we’re alive! The invitation here is to understand our place and purpose and reconnect with Universal consciousness- Oneness- God- or whatever word you’re comfortable using.
The good news is you don’t have to do it alone. By reading about other people’s journeys and finding like-minded souls, you can get lots of help, support and guidance.
As the saint Ramana Maharishi said, “instead of indulging in mere speculation, devote yourself here and now to the search for the Truth that is ever within you.”
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Image courtesy of Artem Sapegin on Unsplash