Recently I had a conversation with someone that left me feeling uncomfortable, like I hadn’t succeeded in getting my point across well. As the afternoon ticked by, I felt my emotions shift, and I did my best to ignore and push away that internal roiling.
It wasn’t until the next day that I realized I’d fallen into an old story about myself. One that I’d probably decided to believe when I was a girl. It went something like this: “I’m bad at living in this world and asserting myself. Everyone else is so much better at it than I am.”
Once I identified the belief playing in my head, I could do something about it. As Brené Brown encourages us, “you either walk into your story and own your truth, or you live outside of your story, hustling for your worthiness.”
Sometimes stepping into that story feels difficult or scary. But when we are in emotional pain, facing that old belief is the only way to authentically deal with it. Otherwise, we push it away and it stays buried.
If you’d like to claim your old stories here are 3 steps:
Willingness
This is where it all starts, with the willingness to do something differently, to see a situation differently.
In doing so, you might feel uncomfortable emotions – like fear, anger, shame, or unworthiness. But are you willing to walk into this old belief anyway?
Think of it like a jacket that is too small but you persist on wearing anyway. It’s that uncomfortable.
The cool thing is that once we claim, or reclaim these old stories, we have the power to change them! To re-write them!
2. Ask for Help
The process of unpacking our outdated beliefs or stories about ourselves can feel daunting. Is there a loved one who can support you through it? Someone you emotionally trust? Perhaps it’s a sibling, a minister, a coach or psychotherapist.
It doesn’t matter who (it can even be your journal), as long as it’s someone you feel you can really open to, someone with whom you can be vulnerable. A loved one who won’t judge.
Let’s be honest. This time of Covid is a global undoing. We are ALL feeling our lives being pulled apart in gross and subtle ways.
Why not use it to help you release old stories that are no longer true for you?
3. Healing Lies in Doing
Ultimately, when we are willing to walk into these old stories, we heal.
Because these “stories” are actually untruths we tell ourselves about who we thought we were or believed we were. And all they are doing now is limiting us and preventing us from stepping more fully into who we genuinely are.
More than ever the world needs you to shine your light, to be that light of love and truth out in the world. Be brave this day and dive into those old beliefs. Thank them for being there, and then release them so you can fully step into being authentically you. It’s time.
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(photo by Eli Francis)